Seriously though. I live a peaceful life, the peace pipe is no stranger to me. I had my first real toke at the very old age (for most Ganja smokers) 24/25. I’ll never forget it…I felt like I had a summer breeze blowing up the skirt of my soul. My friend (whaddup Lucas?) popped in a VHS full of bootleg Led Zeppelin performances from 1969.,*mindboggling*.
My girlfriend at the time (whaddup Big Head) managed to follow my directions to my friends house…and bring the requested chili cheese frito’s. I remember thinking then…IF ONLY I HAD THIS SCHITT IN HIGHSCHOOL/COLLEGE!!!!! Man was I stoned, and boy was it fun macking on that big headed woman in her car. I felt like I was watching myself on television.
As a matter of fact, I had a new favorite television show…ME, baked.
I went from vowing to never buy my own pot…to always having some herb on me. From making a big deal out of that first time, to emphatically wondering why this plant was/is outlawed. That time span was roughly 2 years.
By 27, my social circle was seriously on some “puff,puff,pass” activity. This was Texas. Most of the Ganja I saw down there was still in the curved shape of the inside of a muffler. Schitty dirt weed, no doubt. But in the social setting I was in…you could maintain the same level of buzzedness smoking for hours straight. Only a few times did I luck across some ganja that made me feel like I had magically transformed into Sly Stone’s lower lip, who knows what was going on with that stuff.
At roughly 28/29, another friend(whaddup Don-Don) and I swore to only partake in kind buds. This was the equivalent to only driving foreign cars, my favorite show had just gotten an exotic sidekick. Around this time I heard of Amsterdam, and dreamed of going there and huffing down all of the genetically engineered super strains I could lay my eyes on. That never happened though.
At this time I visited California. I’d never seen ganja like Calibuds, dense, sticky,loaded with crystals, and STINKY AS A SKUNKS ASS.
I’d never heard of medical marijauna providers either. Seeing/smelling shops along the block that I lived on was surreal. “You mean…I can get a doctor’s note, go to one of these places and buy…some herb?” Yes.
I haven’t gotten the doctor’s note…no need. For you see, even the medical marijuan providers have to get their herb from somewhere.
Wait… land ahoy, matey, this is San Francisco, CA…part of the illustrious Gold Coast. Not far from the infamous Humboldt County, part of the Golden Triangle (whaddup Mendocino, whaddup Trinity County). Yes, indeed California’s number one cash crop is not grapes, or apples…it’s ganja.
*does inzone dance*
But wait…there’s just one thing….
The weed nowadays…is TOO STRONG. It’s the herbal equivalent to Jägermeister (www.jagermeister.com/welcome/welcome.com.aspx)…(make sure you click enter…too, that’s what I’m talking about) (look at this one too…www.jaegermeister.de/welcome/welcome.de.aspx).
Yeah…it’s medicine all right, and I seriously believe that. But it’s also the model airplane…and model airplane glue of scientific stoners. What I mean by that is…it’s not enough to just have some killer-diller, no, now you have to have the newest latest killa most dilla (whaddup to Jay Dee…I’ll only smoke in your memory, son. R.I.P.). Various strains, with fancy names have been coming down the pike and into the pipe for years, but now…it’s reached designer blue jeans levels of insanity.
You’ve got the purples (mmmm, taste like grape Now-a-laters), blueberry (mmm, blueberry syrup), trainwreck (did I just move? I didn’t think so), white widow (hey, let’s do some calculus after we finish up this physics), jedi (????), chocolate thai (no lie…taste like a chocolate pop tart), Northern Lights (dude…watch me walk through this wall again).
I mean the list just goes on and on…and the growers are getting more competitive (I’m waiting for SaTivo©, myself…I imagine it’ll allow you to watch anything you’ve ever seen on television again…IN YOUR MIND).
But honestly, the stuff lays me on my ass faster than a burrito from El Farolito. It’s strong. I mean there’s no concievable way I could partake at say my 28 yr old intake level…no fucking way,man. …Dude… I tried. I’m more partial to a nice brownie or two. I like a good body buzz,y’know? I’ve never tried the vaporizer, but I’ve heard stories…it just seems to technically involved…I made a commitment with the bong…a vaporizer seems sort of odd to me, like a wino having an a mechanical wine bottle or something.
So yeah…I’m not quitting, who really quits weed? I don’t believe you Dave Chappelle…not for a minute negro (I picked up a distinct stoned vibe, when I shook his hand in November 2005…but that could of been me…whaddup Alex, Shawn, Chris G., Het)
This blog is too much fun. There’s only one thing left to do now.
No, I’m not gonna smoke out. I have a cold, and the sudafed is already got me stuck.
I’m gonna have a snack, just typing about weed this much has given me the munchies.
Come back to California